Nothing Ever Happens Here

Broken Records + Garden of Elks + Fuzzy Star
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This place is undoubtedly our final paradise. Today is just another day here.

Nothing changes for the better in this cradle Of, course, this is right before the Super Robot crashes into his garage. Naota remarks in the first episode, "Nothing amazing happens here. Curiously enough, none of these events seem to change his mind about his life and hometown being boring and ordinary. This small unremarkable town just so happens to be home to lots of dangerous Stand users and a serial killer who also has a Stand.

This despite an alien invasion, disaster or criminal scheme happening every other issue. Her line's almost immediately followed by Bonnie and Clyde robbing the bank Lana and Clark are visiting. Atomic Robo and the Deadly Art of Science opens with Robo remarking gloomily that "Nothing exciting ever happens around here"; within pages he's become tangled up with a masked vigilante and a sinister mastermind with a crystal skull. It's played with a bit, though, with the intervening pages reminding us that Robo's baseline for "exciting" is a bit unusual in that for him Nikola Tesla attempting to pierce the subatomic veil with giant arcing electrical machines is an everyday occurrence.

Also, he's a talking robot. Cue Freeza's arrival 12 episodes later Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don't care what it is. And then the action takes place. The first post-opening-credits scene of Yellow Submarine at least, the first that isn't set to music features Ringo Starr moping around Liverpool, complaining that nothing ever happens to him — until he realizes that he's somehow being tailed through the streets by a yellow submarine. Stitch, a fugitive alien experiment lands on the island, who is pursued by Jumba and Captain Gantu, with Jumba and Stitch initially destroying Nani's and Lilo's house, and offering to rebuild it after the Grand Councilwoman sentences Stitch, Jumba, Pleakley, and Gantu to exile on Earth; applies to the film and its sequels as well as the TV series.

Deconstructed in Hot Fuzz , where the reason nothing ever happens in Sandford is that the Neighborhood Watch Association kills anyone who threatens their village's perfect image and covers it up.

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Lampshaded in Superman II where the reporter is broadcasting in the small, obscure town of East Houston, Idaho, when the invading Zod, Ursa, and Non lay waste to the town, and even the Army is no match for the three Kryptonian rebels. The Happening - the massive group of people running from the unexplained mass suicide that may or may not be linked to natural causes or very intricately orchestrated terrorism it's a long story find themselves dumped in an isolated town in the middle of the Northwest.

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Mark Wahlberg says to his best friend's daughter, "Don't worry, nothing's going to happen to us here. In Star Wars , Luke complains of Tatooine that, "Well, if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from. It turns out Luke is quite wrong: More than half the Films have a major plot point on the planet, which just might be why everybody likes it most. Even the Expanded Universe isn't all that expanded; everything still happens on Tatooine.

But you wouldn't necessarily expect Luke to know about all this, or suspect that Tatooine would become famous partly because of himself. Anyway, this trope could just as easily be called "The Tatooine Effect". The film Grand Hotel famously opens and closes with a character stating that "nothing ever happens" at the title locale. This is, of course, in ironic counterpoint to the many dramatic episodes which take place over the course of the film. At the very end of Can't Hardly Wait , the two "X-Philes" complain that nothing ever happens in their town.

A suspicious shadow falls over them with an unworldly sound, and they look up and grin as a blue light shines on them. Lampshaded in Suddenly , where a policeman and a traveler discuss the idea that the town's name should be changed to Gradually.

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The plot of the movie: A man takes hostages in the town when it is realised that a family's window is just the right place for a sniper rifle pointed at the president. In Home Alone , Buzz claims that the family lives on the most boring street in the country "where nothing remotely dangerous will ever happen" Dinah has this lament at the beginning of The Philadelphia Story.

Because "nothing ever happens here ", the authorities decide to close the local police station in Kopps. The police officers don't put up with that and begin to increase the criminal statistics on their own to prove that their station is needed. Los Angeles is a city of millions, but TV stations still struggle to get news footage of dramatic events, and if enough people decide that Nothing Exciting is happening, then they might, God forbid, switch off. It doesn't help that the crime rate is falling, so when our anti-hero shows up with the pictures, not many questions are asked.

When he discovers a dark secret, he realizes he was very wrong Brown's Astral Dawn , the protagonist, Caspian Knoll, believes this of his life in the city of Baltimore. His main gripe, however is that nothing exciting ever happens in his personal life. The Dark Side of Nowhere centers on the protagonist discovering that everyone in his Norman Rockwell-esque town, including himself, is really an alien.

The frequent booster shots they've received all their lives have been chemicals to suppress their Adonis-level good looks and blend in with humanity. And the message has just come through that the time has come to gear up for the invasion Blackbury from Johnny Maxwell Trilogy. In "Hill of Fire", the main character is a farmer who spends the whole story using this trope's very title to gripe about his hometown. At the end of the book, there's been a volcanic eruption in his cornfield.

That's actually a true story—the volcano Parcuitin appeared in a cornfield in Mexico in and erupted on and off until The village was destroyed, but no one was killed, except for three people struck by lightning. The main characters of the Brentford trilogy by Robert Rankin claim Brentford is this. In spite of being the place where Julius Caesar invented football, having a nesting griffin, existing in four dimensions simultaneously and having an Eldritch Abomination attack per book Stephen King 's horror stories are often set in the town of Derry, Maine, which is King's fictional version of Bangor, Maine, population 31, He actually went there in The Langoliers.

Visually implied in The Lost Thing. The suburbs are ridiculously identical, the city manages despite all its Steampunk design to be incredibly drab and filled with almost nobody but businesspeople, and, oh yeah, there are random biomechanical creatures wandering about the place. Then again, it's implied that for most people there's a Weirdness Censor involved. Maggody, Arkansas, setting of Joan Hess's Arly Hanks mysteries, is a too-small-for-the-mapmakers flyspeck town where the locals consider the burning of Hiram's barn to be the sole event of historical note in decades.

In those same decades, said flyspeck has variously been invaded by porn movie-makers, a rehab clinic, pot farmers, UFO fanatics, tabloid reporters, militia nutjobs, golfers, Civil War buffs, country-western music groupies, fake psychics, the Internet, televangelists, and feminists, all of them with a distressing tendency to get themselves murdered. And people still play this trope straight if asked. Around the World in 80 Days is a somewhat more ordinary example. Phileas Fogg's house in Saville Row has been running like clockwork for years.

Fogg himself never wavers in his routine; he never travels, he has no business to attend to, and he never makes a public appearance except for his daily trip to the Reform Club to play whist. Enter Passepartout, Fogg's new manservant. He's looking forward to a nice quiet gig, and he delightedly comments on how mundane and predictable his master is. On the very day that Passepartout enters Fogg's service, however, that same ordinary gentleman makes an extraordinary wager and embarks on a mad dash around the world. Plenty of Sherlock Holmes stories start with Holmes complaining at length to Watson of how there aren't any interesting crimes anymore.

Cue the arrival of his latest client Whenever someone is murdered, a serial killer comes to town, drug dealers show up and start taking hostages, vampires enroll in the local high school, or another one of Jessica Wakefield's boyfriends dies a horrible death , the inevitable reaction from the locals is "How could such a thing happen in Sweet Valley?

Things like that never happen here! The locals insist that crime is something that happens "Down Below," as they refer to the rest of the U. Agent-on-remote Abby visits from Pleasantville and complains about how boring it is. When she asks Toria and Will if anything is going on Sandy Harbor, they claim nothing exciting is going on there. Except for the boat smugglers. And the incident at the spelling bee. And the sailing lessons they got as a reward The Midwich Cuckoos has a few pages describing the almost completely uneventful history of the out-of-the-way English village of Midwich, where a mysterious incident is beginning to unfold.

If your main theme is "Not a lot going on" by Craig Northey and Jerry Valenzuela , you must be living in a very sleepy community. Fortunately, it's never boring. Variation on this trope in Sherlock when John says "Nothing ever happens to me. Chronologically, one of Chloe's first lines is something like this in a flashback in Abyss. Eerie, Indiana , which was selected by the protagonist father as their new home because it was the most "normal" town in the country, statistically speaking, and whose many inhabitants complain about the bleakness of their lives unaware of what's really going on.

The thing was parodied in the second series, where its protagonists complained about how boring their lives are, while living in a world whose quotidian is truly outrageous. Eureka ; the town looks painfully normal. Except, in a subversion of the trope, for the experimental laboratory complex where almost the entire town works, and which, for lack of a better term, leaks weirdness into the town.

So it is a normal and unexciting town But most citizens studiously ignore the vampires, demons, monsters and strange occurences or explain them away as "gang violence". Slightly subverted in that the town's founders actively work to support this masquerade. Teen Wolf Pilot episode has this trope.

Nothing Ever Happens Here

This is what motivates Stiles and Scott to go into the woods looking for half a body in the middle of the night. This, of course, leads to Scott getting bitten. The main characters are bored out of their skulls and yet incredibly blind to all the exciting things happening around them. In an odd variation, Virginia Lewis of The 10th Kingdom , despite living in the Big Applesauce , thinks to herself in voiceover narration on the way to work at the beginning of the miniseries that she knew "nothing exciting was ever going to happen" to her and "some people just lead quiet lives".

Cue her running into a golden retriever on her bicycle who is actually a transformed prince from the world of fairy tales , and In Doctor Who , the Doctor and Ace are visiting the suburb she grew up in. So what's so terrible about Perivale? Nothing ever happens here. Or, in the new series, Leadworth, home of Rory and Amy. It's a completely boring, normal English town The League of Gentlemen opens with Benjamin Denton on a train to Royston Vasey, reading a letter from his aunt, which includes: The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town takes place in the fictional town of Shuckton, Ontario, Canada , which, prior to losing its bid for the Olympic Games , was famous for its rat fur industry.

What do you think of when you hear our name? We're not very well known. And then he ends up dead. Doesn't really change the boredom factor, though. When a bored Vala begs Mitchell to take her with him to his high school reunion, he says "It. When they actually go there, bounty hunters descend on the reunion. Of course, the only reason the bounty hunters are even there is because Mitchell is there. If he hadn't gone, it would have been the typical boring, awkward reunion.

One of the recurring skits in the 's variety show The Hudson Brother's Razzle Dazzle Show was about a very small tropical island where nothing supposedly happened. In every sketch, the infamous words would be lamented: Another boring day on the island of Pegi Pegi pronounced Peegee Peegee.

In the Are You Afraid of the Dark?

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I stayed out of the woods. At home, alone, I concentrated on whatever was on television. I had a black-and-white mini Toshiba. When I lived with her, she would have been in her late sixties. She wore a short dark blond wig and large gold-framed eyeglasses. Her fingernails were long and fake and painted pink. Her posture was stooped in the shiny quilted housecoat she wore when she walked around.

Usually she sat behind her desk in a sleeveless blouse, her thin, spotted arms swaying as she gestured and pulled Kools from a tooled leather cigarette case. Her ears and nose were humongous, and the skin on her face was stretched up toward her temples in a way that made her look stunned all the time. Her makeup was like stage makeup, or what they put on dead bodies in open caskets. It was applied heavy-handedly, in broad strokes of blue and pink and bronze.

I had never met a Jew before, or anyone intellectual at all back in Gunnison. Mrs Honigbaum rented rooms in her house for forty-five dollars a week to young men who came to her through a disreputable talent agent — my agent. His name was Bob Sears. I never met him face-to-face. He said that once I had a few odd gigs under my belt, I could start doing ad work on game shows, then commercials, then bit roles on soaps, then small parts in sitcoms, then prime-time dramas.

Soon Scorsese would come knocking, he said.

Nothing Exciting Ever Happens Here

Once I got to town, I called Bob Sears nearly every weekday morning to find out where to go for auditions and what time to be there. Mrs Honigbaum let me use the phone in her bedroom. Her bedroom was dark and humid, with tinted glass doors looking out onto the swimming pool. Mirrors lined one wall. Everything smelled of vanilla and mouthwash and mothballs. A dresser was topped with a hundred glass vials of perfumes and potions and serums I guessed were meant to keep her youthful. There was a zebra-skin rug, a shiny floral bedspread.

The ceiling lamp was a yellow crystal chandelier.

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The light bulbs were fixed along the edges of the mirror, like in backstage dressing rooms. I was very impressed by that. I went in there and studied my face in that lighting, but only for a minute at a time. While I was on the phone with Bob Sears, the maid sometimes flitted in and out, depositing stacks of clean towels, collecting the crumpled, lipstick-smeared tissues from the waste bin by the bed.

The phone was an old rotary, the numbers faded and greasy, and the receiver smelled like halitosis. In fact, I liked everything about Mrs Honigbaum. She flattered and cajoled me, the way grandmothers do. Is that what you expect? People really do it.

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Everybody loves you here. You think those Hollywood people will be lining up just to tie your shoes? You want an easy life?

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In Bob and George , George gets prompt results. Your account has been deactivated because your digital archive access has ended. In Doctor Who , the Doctor and Ace are visiting the suburb she grew up in. All the money I had in the world was folded up in the front pocket of my jeans. A dresser was topped with a hundred glass vials of perfumes and potions and serums I guessed were meant to keep her youthful. While he is saying this he passes by several animals including a pair of deer fighting for dominance, a flock of pheasants, and an elk; he never notices all this because he is focused on his Game Boy game. See Ordinary High-School Student for when this happens to a person.

You want to roller-skate on the beach? Even the hairs on your head are numbered. I really did want an easy life. I looked out the window at the short little houses, the flat open plains, the sky purple and orange, blinding sparks of honey-colored light shooting over the western mountains where the sun went down. How about all those teachers who I had to beg not to fail you? Being an actor seemed like an appropriate career for someone like me. I kept quiet for the rest of the drive. I was popular and I had fun, and pretty girls followed me around.

I wanted to be a star. The closest movie theater was in Provo, an hour and a half away. It seemed like hard work to act in something that went on for so long. I thought I could move to Hollywood and get a role on a show like Eight Is Enough as the cool older brother. And later I could be like Starsky in Starsky and Hutch. I explained all this to the photographer at the mall.

He said he agreed, handed me a flimsy plastic comb, told me to sit down and wait my turn. I remember the little kids and babies in fancy clothes in the waiting room, crying and nagging their mothers. I combed my hair and practiced making faces in the mirror on the wall. I suspect she lifted it. She did that when she was in a bad mood.

Then she sat down next to me and read People magazine and smoked. A week later she drove me to the bus stop. It was barely five in the morning and she still wore her burgundy satin negligee and curlers in her hair, a denim jacket thrown over her sunburnt shoulders. Finally she pulled over and lit a cigarette. I watched a tear coast down her cheek. I opened the car door.