Last week, I wrote about a frustrated father , who boarded a school bus to confront some male classmates of his daughter who were bullying her, and also in the past I posted a blog of a bullying incident with a more tragic ending. Too often, parents will ask me in frustration if there is a parenting manual which I can recommend to them.
While the answer still remains no, "Modern Parents, Vintage Values" comes close. Goff and Trevathan just wrote what I consider to be a great book for parents needing help in instilling traditional values in their children, in a modern and fast paced world. The book delivers well on its title, in that it addresses most issues parents face in a modern day environment, with proposed strategies to instill traditional values in children and teens.
For most of us our only experience at parenting prior to having our children, is based on how we were raised by our parents. This means that the parenting skills our parents were using to rear us, were best suited for their times. It used to be that parents were concerned about their children learning bad habits outside the home. Now with the Internet fully mainstream, children can learn bad habits in the home.
These days, I find myself taking more new cases of children acting out in schools, based on something they witnessed on an adult site.
It might lend some explanation to why some thirteen year olds had a condom, or condoms in their possession from the school bus incident I wrote about last week. The book is divided into three parts. The chapters of the first part have to do with practicing parenting in a modern world. Issues having to do with teaching children to adopt sensible assertiveness over fear , such as dealing with strangers is explored.
Other issues dealt with in this chapter are parenting an oppositional defiant child or teen, "what do I do when my son tells me to shut up?
Entitlement issues are also addressed at great length, "how do I teach my daughter gratitude , when she thinks she deserves a cell phone, laptop, and the rest of the gadgets her peers have? The chapters of the second part of the book, address effective strategies to teach vintage values, such as kindness, compassion, forgiveness , gratitude, integrity, responsibility, patience, manners and confidence.
I like that there is a chapter dedicated to each of these values, I also find part two to be my favorite part, because it helps to clarify the misunderstanding some parents have around the findings of research studies that the prefrontal cortex of the brain does not stop developing until the mid twenties for the average adult. These days it is not unusual to hear someone who will explain away, an inexcusable behavior committed by a teen, with a "reminder" that the brain of a teen is not fully developed.
Given that the prefrontal cortex has been determined in numerous studies to be responsible for the execution of one's values, in regards to judgment and impulse control ; the chapters of part two support my belief that people don't automatically become mature in their twenties, it is a process. In truth, older children and teens are very capable of learning and practicing these values on a consistent basis. Further, the sooner parents begin teaching their children about practicing the values highlighted in chapter two, the more ingrained these values will be in a person's adulthood.
Feb 09, Taunya R rated it it was amazing. Cheryl rated it really liked it Oct 05, They provide a clear and possible path back to cultivating children who have a sense of character and groundedness, who may not be as rampant across playgrounds and parks as they once were. Aaron Sharp rated it really liked it May 12, How do I teach my daughter about gratitude when she believes she is entitled to a cell phone and a laptop and everything else that not only she wants, but that all of the kids around her already have? How do you teach these lessons?
My take on the third and last part of the book, but not the least is a reminder to parents about their limitations as human beings. In regards to recognizing that there is so much a parent can do, and placing an important emphasis on self care and achieving and maintaining inner peace.
The great thing about the book is that you can begin implementing parenting techniques and strategies, before you have finished the book. Between the internet, the media, the sense of entitlement that kids are living with, the disrespect. We often wish we could move back to Mayberry, where our biggest concern was who had set off the firecrackers in the neighbor's garage.
Modern Parents, Vintage Values and millions of other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Modern Parents, Vintage Values: Instilling Character in Today’s Kids Paperback – October 1, Start reading Modern Parents, Vintage Values on your Kindle in under a minute. Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Melissa Trevathan, M.R.E. first became a youth director at.
While those aren't the issues most parents are facing today, Melissa and Sissy believe we can still raise children who value, well, values. They provide a clear and possible path back to cultivating children who have a sense of character and groundedness, who may not be as rampant across playgrounds and parks as they once were.
They paint the picture of how to raise children with manners and kindness and with a healthy sense of fear and respect both for their world and the adults around them--and to do so without totally disengaging from the realities of today's world. In short, they believe it is still possible to instill vintage values in modern kids.
Modern Parents, Vintage Values talks about the specific issues facing kids today, helping parents to more fully understand the challenges being faced. Yet Melissa and Sissy don't stop there.
They focus in on nine values that are foundational for the character development of children: Each chapter is broken down into a section for children and adolescents, and specific ways to foster the specific value for the particular age. Modern Parents, Vintage Values offers parents timeless truths that can break through the chaos of today's culture and instill these truly vintage and important values in kids. These two ladies have done it again. This is an eye-opening book filled with interesting facts and statistics about children and todays society.
They clearly expose areas that christian parents have Both authors are counselors at Daystar How do I teach my daughter about gratitude when she believes she is entitled to a cell phone and a laptop and everything else that not only she wants, but that all Modern Parents, Vintage Values: Instilling Character in Today's Kids. Melissa Trevathan , Sissy Goff.